Update.

I've never been able to do an update since last summer when the gaining all started.  But irony of irony's while I was starting to think of losing weight I ended up gaining quite a few pounds.  It was last night when I got up from this computer to shower, I noticed when I stood up that my stomach wobbled more than usual. I lifted my shirt and saw a hefty ball drop and bounce right in front of me.  Then I noticed my chest was much bigger.  All the weight is carried mostly in my stomach, chest, and back.  So I decided to measure myself.  My belly measured a perfect 57" around.  That's been my goal as far as size is concerned.  So I must weigh in the 300-320 neighborhood.  My goal is reached.

Doubts.

I've been gaining for a while now and I realized that I would be sacrificing a lot just by looking fat.  As most of you gainers are aware of, even if we accept each other and appreciate the work we put into shaping our bodies, there are those who are quite the opposite.  I have never been teased about my weight yet, but I can feel the stares sometimes of all my skinny friends.  My best friend and I are the only ones who really have a right to joke about each other.  Between me and him that would include dramatic changes in weight.  After high school he got really thin and taller, I stayed the same hight and became much much fatter.  I'm sure he's noticed that.  But we never say anything to each other.  I look at my skinny best friend and how great he looks coupled with the new hair cut he's been sporting lately.  I have become quite jealous of him.  

Being fat has made a lot of things awkward.  I will never dance on stage again without an extra hundred and thirty pounds wobbling around like waves in the ocean.  I don't exactly fit well into the seats at the theater.  My sides are pressed into each other causing a small bubble of fat to protrude further out in front of me peeking slightly from under my shirt.  Usually it takes a while until my lower belly starts feeling chilled.  Clothes aren't fitting right of course.  It's hard to be taken seriously at a job interview (at least it is for me.)  especially when I'm turning in applications at the bakery.  Always a fantasy of mine to work at a bakery and fatten myself with the gorging of many delectable wedding cakes and drums of frosting.  

So every thing is explained.  50% of gaining is embarrassing and the other 50% is just hot.  I feel like I want to loose all this weight some times just to look as handsome as my friends.  Who knows?  I may just do that after college.

Dream.

So last night I woke up from the strangest dream that I ever had.  It was scary vivid and at times just plain scary.  I never wake up from scary dreams in a cold sweat screaming my head off.  This dream was no different.  The reason why I'm bothering to mention it is because a portion of it was a "gainer" dream.  Without further a due, here's my story:

There I was completely on my own.  I didn't come with a friend.  I was at some sort of spa where there were long underground hallways connecting various rooms together built for steam, showering, massage, candles for aroma therapy, etc.  The main hall curved.  It veered one way, then another.  It was very long.  Finally and without even reaching the very end, I arrived at the bathroom.  There were stalls with doors painted the calm cool color of fresh cement.  The walls were covered in white tiles.  Beautiful porcelain sinks with silver knobs standing on the opposite side of the elliptically shaped room.  This bathroom was indeed nothing like I'd ever seen.  I don't know how long I must have stood there, but before long a very large man stepped into the room He was very fat with a large belly and a burly chest.  He had a very very round face made possible my the solid roll under his chin.  He was very bronzed and smooth with short blonde hair and the lightest shade of blue in his eyes.  He asked me how I was feeling today as though he knew me.  I played along and said 'I'm great today, how 'bout you?'  He smiled at me and the crease of his jawline became deliciously defined.  Such dimples!  He said there wasn't much going on out there, just a bunch of the same old brood who come every year just to be lazy and make fun of the occasional new guy.  I was suddenly worried.  I was the new guy apparently.  I could sense that.  I was also the odd one out, me being less chunky than every one there.  Suddenly it seemed like the stranger recognized that I wasn't 'one of them'.  He apologized for the misunderstanding and introduced himself as Rex.  He asked me how I was enjoying the spa and even pointed out the obvious physical traits of the common attendees.  There was no denying as I looked down at my average belly.  He padded it for some reason and smiled at me again with eagerness.  He said he knew for sure that I was the new guy based on the short lived wobble of my masses.  Then after a few minutes of becoming acquainted a voice was heard getting closer and closer to the bathroom.  Without warning, Rex had grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me into the nearest stall.  He stood outside it.  Making sure that no one even knocked.  And there were definitely two other guys entering the bathroom, but of course they came there for a reason and entered the next two stalls.  While they chatted I heard Rex whisper clearly to me, "How are you feeling in there?"  "Not bad", I replied.  Suddenly i felt a very warm sensation in the dead center of my forehead and from random spots on my body.  The toasty feeling seemed to have accompanied a temporary red glow (like holding a flashlight under my fingers) and then the rumbling started.  It made me quake and shake from the inside with a terribly ticklish gurgle.  "What's going on it there?" asked Rex "I can feel it out here."  The next thing that happened was like in slow motion.  I suddenly began to grow.  My belly was blowing up to an incredible size.  My legs, my arms, my hands and feet were getting more blubbery and "puffed" just like pastry.  I groped the sides of my girth and felt the swell of my chest.  My face was also changing.  My cheeks forced my lips together and my whole head tilted up because the roll of fat under my chin made in even harder to look down.  The slabs of fat draped over my back made me look like a water bed all of this added to the bulges that encompassed my head like it was the button of a seat cushion.  And while I concentrated on the rest of me my belly was still growing more voluminous.  I felt my love handles spreading out relentlessly and pushing the door out.  Little by little the metal of the door popped and dented into a convex form, pushing Rex forward.  He tried his hardest to open the latch of the door, but even with his burly arms he did not have the strength.  I stopped.... I was done growing.  There was silence.  "What's happenin' out there, Rex?  Sounds like the Titanic's going down."  Then the door POPPED!  Rex was shoved nearly into the sink.  The two strangers rushed out.  Their robes nearly coming undone.  I struggled to maneuver my considerable bulk out the narrow stall.  The whole process looked like biscut dough breaking free from the tube.  I made it.  Rex stood there, holding the towel covering his wide lap tightly.  The two men stood in awe with mouths agape fading slowly into grins.  I was embarrassed at first until each of them escorted/shoved me out the door and I was greeted by the hoots and hollers of the other bathroom attendees.  There was no telling how I came to be that way so quickly, but I'm sure it was something about where I was.  Rex certainly agreed.  He said he thought it did wonders for him when he first arrived patting his own immense belly but that was until he saw the effect the spa had on me.    

The End.

Looking For Someone.

I'm looking for someone special.  But a lot of people out there probably know, and I've probably mentioned this before, that there aren't many gainers/admirers here in Iowa.  I'm looking for someone to talk to sincerely.  To tell you the truth, there was someone who's picture I was crazy about from Biggercity and we talked back and forth for a while, but he doesn't get it.  I'm the one who always has to send the first message to start off.  I went so far as threatening to lose all the weight to get a reaction out of him and he said nothing.  Chasers should be more worried when they hear that a big guy decides to lose his pounds.  That says to me 'he' just doesn't care.  He said before in a response that he's sorry for not sending messages because he's a naturally shy person.  I don't mind that.  I just feel a little bad if I made him feel that way.  I guess I was so excited because he was an attractive Iowa chaser close to my age 'a little older' and liked a lot of the same things.  Perhaps I got carried away.  I might find someone some day.  Sorry, but this is more of a vent blog.

No updates on the weight, although I am looking pretty big.  Doing nothing all day but eating and massaging my stomach after each meal.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Money is of course really tight right now since I haven't found a job yet so I won't go on another "Eat Week" like I did to get up to the 320lb mark.  Wish me luck and donate if you can, knowing that every added dollar could make me bust my belt.      

Holiday Heft.

Well, I figured that I'd write my first Christmas gaining blog sooner or later.  You may wonder what changes I've made.  Sorry to disappoint, but I'm still the same.  Though I have been taking it quite easy and eating till I'm content, there is no apparent gain.  My parents have now acknowledged that I've put on some weight.  That's all they said as I was getting rid of my smaller clothes.  The only things worth getting rid of are most of my tshirts.  

I always wear a tall because since I am around 300lbs. there is a slight over hang visible in front and some visible love handles behind me when I sit.  I argued that my pants were just fine (and trust me they are)  they told me, 'no they don't fit because you put on weight'.  I have been eating big for a log time but since I've reached my plateau they think I'm getting bigger by the day.  Weird.  Nothing else to report.  Wish me luck.   

Thanksgiving.

Why is it that I can't bring myself to eat more than one plate of anything when I'm at a family dinner?  I just get full instantly.  The food was great this year.  I guess I savored it too much and thus it became easy to be full when the food goes in too slowly.  On the bright side, I did manage to pig out impressively the next day while everyone in my family was at work.  lol.  I just sat in the big easy chair watching some DVD's with a big bloated belly bobbling up in the air like a giant gurgling water ballon under my shirt.  It was there I realized how much bigger I actually was.  I never used to fill up the seat of that chair from arm to arm.  And wow!  I totally was.  (*putting one hand on each side and giving my gut a massive victory shake*).  lol.   

The Encourager.

About six months ago, I was just out of high school and found my first summer job as a graduate.  Back then I was not thinking about gaining at all and actually thinking about losing some weight to impress my friends who hadn't seen me in a few years.  I was making some serious money working over the summer as a full timer.  I really didn't know what to do with my money.  I bought a computer and paid for my first semester's tuition fully and in cash.  One day I came across a blog called 'The Encourager'.  This blog was full of gainer fiction and I read almost every one.  Different guys in each story gaining tons of weight and feeling so satisfied.  I was reading them all night.  I don't know what sparked, but I was determined to make a change over the course of that summer.  I went out to all the fattening food spots I could find during lunch breaks and after work.  Downing at least three of their biggest sandwiches every visit.  I would even eat a large pizza every morning before I left home.  After about three weeks it seemed like nothing changed.  

But into the next week, like waking from a dream, I saw what had happened to me.  I became enormous!  I was once at around 280 that spring and was now at the near end of the summer at a wobbling 320 with a waist at 56 inches around.  I'll never forget what reading 'The Encourager' did to me.  It turned me into the guy I always thought I'd be after high school.  I got much fatter and had an easier time doing it without looking at all the buff hunks that filled up my graduating class.  Seeing them every day made me feel a little too nervous to get a bigger belly while they were getting bigger pecs and biceps.  Standing around the hall way they looked like bronzed statues, works of art.  When I made my way through that maze of solid, muscular high school guys I looked like a Thanksgiving's Day balloon pushing myself down the street between these tall buildings.  After my class said their good byes, my shame seemed to disappear.  No more popularity contests.  It was all about making it on your own.  Now I'm in a whole new popularity contest where all the guys around me are the same.  In the gaining community, I'm still shy but at least I'm not an outcast.