Skin Deep deep deep....

Probably my most favorite widely publicised man gaining weight as part of a personal experiment is definitely Paul James or "PJ" as he is known by his friends. The Australian hunk goes from about 170-08lbs or something (they go by kilos which I can't really measure off the top of my head) and gets massive over the course of a year. I have seen footage of his experiment in his documentary entitled "Fat and Back" where he at one point confesses to the camera that he 'can't live like this any more'. And I felt bad for him. I know that gainers in our world, those that enjoy this lifestyle, probably wouldn't feel ashamed of having a fit or slimmed physique but that's only because society has its norms that most classify with happiness. 'Fat and happy' is also a widely expressed term. It's the worlds fault for making PJ at such a vulerable stage in his experiment feel that shame and disgust with himself. All I wanted to do as an observer was give him a great big hug and tell him not to be upset, that he looks fine and nothing has to stay the same forever if he choses.

How do I feel sitting here still a great deal fat and happy with my body?

I look down at what I've been seeing for years. A round belly with billowy moobs resting gently on top rising and falling with each breath. I feel the softness, I see the expanse, I hear the occasional gurgle of air inside while my digestion does its daily thing. Maybe I'm just used to it, but I don't feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, there is extreme comfort to it, which has muscle studs like Paul James concerned (scared whitless). I only suppose that he feels this current state of fatness with last forever and that he wont ever see the body he was so in love with. Where would he get such an idea? Yes the food was great, it tasted good and made him hunger for more. But habbits can always be broken. He proved all that by dropping his beautiful weight. Good for him. But there are some who feel a bit paranoid even with such success. Will this last? Will he end up fat again without intending to be? Probably yes. A lot of people end up that way sooner or later. And whos to say it wouldn't have happened without his conscious decision? Point being this man was beautiful oustide/inside before, after and will be for life. If only the public didn't feel that beauty was only skin deep. It covers something deeper and more beautiful. Especially the fat.

Nothing But Fluff.

So it turns out that I haven't received a comment in about a year. That's fine, I don't exactly thrive on commentary, but to know that someone is reading and taking away something positive from my writing would be "fat'tastic". lol I think I had also mentioned in another post that it seemed interesting how I am unable to write about nothing more that fat or being fat or wanting to be fat(ter), the last being an extension of what I already am. But what else can I do if I had tried so many times to branch out. Thanks to years and years of being a lazy butt and watching myself become that which fascinated me most, I can truly talk about something from first hand knowledge and experience. Isn't that the best way to go about writing a blog?

 

 

Lately I've been having these purely 'entertaining' dreams where I am usually the star. There "we" are sitting around a bath house covered in white tile. A labrynth of white chambers with white hallways winding endlessly into new rooms filled with new people I never saw before. All of them men, I feast my eyes in a fantastical sight of other guys like myself simply lazing around and growing fatter in various degrees of growth. Some of them are hairy, others are smooth, some bronzed and some fair skinned with every natural hair color. As I pause here I come to realize that I'm probably a true slut if my options are so open and varied. Eventually in these dreams I find myself in a room with maybe one other person and he's usually fit. He takes me in close and we start to kiss and fondle exploring something new and wonderful about each other. With each caress and he finds a soft mound of fat around my leg focussing hungrily on its shape and curve with his long able fingers. I wonder with my rather chubby hands around the distinguishing shape of his midsection. Tufts of his hair whirring between my fingers by their stroking.

 

 

What a moment so long, nearly eternal in its bliss, I thought it was all real for an instant. Then of course I would begin my own growing transformation, starting with the expanse of my stomach. My personal onlooker gazing with a blush to his cheeks and a reaching erection smiles close at my side while his eyes whitness the magical fattening nearly inches from my center of gravity. On occasion the role of gainer would change from him to me or both of us at the same time but it would always end before one of us bursts. I wake up nearly sweating and pounding my heart out.

Wow I have issues. lol